Burning My List
03.18.03 @ 5:30 pm

here i am
and i don't have much to say
it seems so strange
to stare at you
and to feel this way

I don't know what's going on with [Germ] and don't really care. I don't really like him romantically. He just keeps fucking turning to me... and I don't know how to turn him away. I don't want to turn him away... not as a friend anyhow. But I don't really feel anything for him romantically.

here i am
and i don't really know this time
the phone can ring
off the hook
i don't mind

Smokey has been trying to flirt with me lately. Keyword being: trying. And Charles seems so fucking needy. I don't know how to react to him. I care for him... but I don't know. Binda says he's coming in two weeks. I want him too... but I'm not holding my breath.

so here i am
and i'm not really sure right now
shut the shade
the light's too bright
and i don't feel so well

There are so many boys coming at me from so many angles... and in one way or another, none of them are the boy I want. I have a fucking list... a list of things I want... but none of these boys fit perfectly into my stupid little fucking list. I'm thinking of burning my list.

so here i am
and i don't really care this time
the record skips
and stammers the beat
and repeats the line

All I ever wanted was a sweet boy to make me smile... hold my hand... give me affection now and again... but for some reason, apparently that's downright fucking impossible to find. I want a dark-haired boy who listens to most of the same music as me... isn't shorter than me. I want him to not be afraid of what people will think when he holds my hand... not if. I want him to dig me like I dig him. I need a hopeless romantic, indie/emo boy.

"here i am" by josh joplin

Any serious applicants... distance is no matter... my link's in the scrollbar. This is my last attempt before I burn my list and start from scratch.

�love | hate�


Josh Joplin


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